Formal Wedding Attire for Men: What "Formal" Means When the Invitation Doesn't Say Black Tie

Start with what the word does not say. Emily Post's general attire guide runs from casual to white tie, and it has no code headed "formal". The word appears only inside other codes: semi-formal, business formal, a "formal (floor length) evening gown" on the women's black tie list. The definition for men comes instead from the Institute's wedding-guest page, which sorts weddings into formal, semiformal and informal, each with a daytime and an evening column. For men, that chart reads: • Formal, daytime: "Dark suit; conservative shirt and tie." • Formal, evening: "Tuxedo (required if invitation states 'Black tie') or dark suit." • Semiformal, daytime: dark suit, or blazer with grey flannels and a tie. • Semiformal, evening: dark suit. • Informal: sports jacket or blazer and slacks, tie optional. Two things follow. First, a plain "formal" invitation never requires a tuxedo. The tuxedo becomes compulsory only when the words "black tie" are printed. Second, "formal" removes the options that semiformal allows. There is no daytime blazer-and-flannels route, and the shirt and tie are specified as conservative. A formal wedding is a dark-suit wedding at minimum, with the tuxedo as an option after dark. That evening option is the same choice black tie optional offers. Emily Post's attire guide defines black tie optional as a code where "men are requested to wear a tuxedo, but can opt for a dark suit", and lists a dark suit, white dress shirt and conservative tie as the alternative. A syndicated etiquette column reaches the same place. Annie Lane's Dear Annie column (Creators Syndicate, July 2017) answered a reader's question about invitation codes with: "If it's 'formal,' a tuxedo or dark suit and tie will do", and, for black tie, "always wear a tuxedo". Sources do differ on the word itself, and it helps to know why. In the traditional British-influenced classification that Wikipedia summarizes in its Western dress codes article, "formal" covers white tie and morning dress, black tie counts as semi-formal, and a suit is informal. Under that scheme, a dark suit could never be "formal" wear. That is not how US wedding invitations use the word. An American couple who write "formal" almost always mean the Emily Post sense: dressier than a regular suit-and-tie wedding, short of compulsory black tie. If the couple are following British convention, ask what they mean, because the daytime garment at the top of that traditional scheme is morning dress, not a suit.

The single most useful fact on the invitation is the time. Emily Post states it outright: "The wedding invitation and the time of the wedding will be your best guide to its formality." The guest chart gives a formal daytime wedding one outfit and a formal evening wedding two. The dividing line is about 6 p.m. Emily Post's attire guide uses it in the semi-formal entry ("if the event is later than 6 in the evening, you'll want to err on the side of formality"). Wikipedia's article on black tie gives the same rule for the tuxedo: "traditionally worn only for events after 6 p.m.", or after sundown in the winter months. That is why the daytime column of the formal chart has no tuxedo in it. A dinner jacket is evening clothing, so a tux at an 11 a.m. or 2 p.m. ceremony goes against the tradition the dress code comes from, however formal the wedding. When the ceremony and reception straddle the line, go by the ceremony time. A 4:30 p.m. service followed by dinner and dancing is the most common real case, and a dark suit is the cleanest answer, correct for the daylight ceremony and still correct at the evening reception. If the invitation sets the ceremony at 6 p.m. or later, treat the whole wedding as evening and the tuxedo becomes a real option. The table below lays the two versions of formal wedding attire for men side by side, piece by piece. The women's column is included because couples often coordinate. If your partner is planning a floor-length gown for an evening wedding, a tuxedo or your darkest suit will match it better than a mid-weight navy.

"Formal" and a start time narrow it to a dark suit or, at night, a tuxedo. The rest of the evidence decides which way to lean. Emily Post lists the questions a guest should ask about any wedding, and each has a men's version. The nature of the service. Emily Post asks whether it is secular or religious. A formal ceremony in a house of worship keeps the jacket on and buttoned through the service. It also raises the Institute's second question: does the couple's religion or culture expect a head covering? If the answer is yes, find out before the day whether coverings will be provided or whether guests bring their own. Local custom. Emily Post notes that "some parts of the country are more conservative than others". The same formal invitation can produce a room of tuxedos in one city and a room of dark suits in another. If you know the families or the region, use that knowledge before any general rule. The venue. A hotel ballroom, a private club or a seated dinner with a band tells you the room will lean toward its most formal reading. At an evening wedding in that kind of venue, a tuxedo will not look out of place. A vineyard, a barn, a garden or a beach changes the setting but not the code. "Formal" at an outdoor venue still means a dark suit and tie. What the setting can change is fabric weight and how you handle heat, not whether the jacket and tie come along. The wedding website. Couples often explain the dress code there in more detail than the printed card allows. Look for phrases such as "tuxedos welcome", "jackets required" or "formal, no tuxedo needed". A line on the website overrides any general guide, including this one. The wedding party. If you know the groomsmen are in tuxedos, a guest in a tuxedo at an evening wedding fits in. If you know they are in suits, a dark suit is the stronger choice, and a guest tuxedo can look like an attempt to match the wedding party. When the evidence still points both ways, ask. A short message to the couple or a member of the wedding party ("Formal: are most men in suits or tuxes?") is ordinary etiquette, not a burden. Emily Post's guidance in both its attire articles comes back to the same idea: the hosts' wording is the instruction, and when it is unclear the hosts are the people to clarify it.

Because a plain "formal" invitation allows both at night, most men's real question is which one to choose. The table below works through the common situations. The rule underneath it is short. Before 6 p.m., wear a dark suit. After 6 p.m., wear a dark suit unless the room is clearly heading for tuxedos, and wear a tuxedo whenever the invitation says black tie in any form. Two points tend to settle a close call. First, you cannot be wrong in a dark suit at a formal wedding. Emily Post lists it in both columns, so if you are undecided, the suit is the outfit no one can fault. Second, if you already own a well-fitting tuxedo and the wedding is in the evening, wearing it is within the code even when most men in the room are in suits. It is the formal option, not an overdressed one, once the sun has gone down. Renting a tuxedo for a single formal wedding is a choice about cost and fit rather than etiquette. A navy or charcoal suit that fits well is fully correct. A rented tuxedo with the wrong sleeve length is not an upgrade.

If the suit is the answer, "dark" is the important word in Emily Post's chart. The Institute's attire guide puts the principle in five words in its business-formal entry: "The darker the suit, the more formal." For a formal wedding that means: • Color. Charcoal and deep navy are the reference shades. Mid-gray, light blue, tan, and loud checks or windowpanes belong to semi-formal and daytime-casual weddings. • Black. A black lounge suit is acceptable, but it has an odd history. Wikipedia's lounge suit article notes that lounge suits "were never traditionally worn in plain black, this colour instead being reserved for formal wear". At night a black suit can read as a tuxedo stand-in. In daylight it can look severe. Charcoal does the same job with less risk. • Shirt. "Conservative" in the daytime column and white in the black tie optional list. A white dress shirt is correct in both. • Tie. Conservative: a solid or small-patterned silk tie in a dark or muted color. It is required, not optional. A black bow tie belongs with a tuxedo. Worn with a suit, it reads as an attempt at one. • Shoes and socks. Leather dress shoes, polished, with dark dress socks, as on the black tie optional list. • Vest. A matching vest is optional on Emily Post's lists for the suit codes. A three-piece in charcoal is a natural fit for a formal daytime wedding in cool weather. If you choose the tuxedo, wear it whole. The black tie list is specific: a black tuxedo jacket and matching trousers, a formal white shirt with studs and cufflinks, a black bow tie, a black cummerbund or vest, and black patent shoes with black dress socks. Wikipedia notes that midnight blue is "now once again a popular alternative" to black. A white dinner jacket is listed by Emily Post only "in summer, in the tropics, or on a cruise", and Wikipedia's article says the same of warm climates. At a summer evening wedding in a hot place it is correct. Outside those conditions, neither source gives it a place, so stay with black or midnight blue. Leave these at home for any formal wedding: a blazer with odd trousers, chinos, an open collar or no tie, loafers that look casual, sneakers, and anything you would wear at a dressy-casual wedding. If the ceremony is outdoors in summer heat, choose a lighter fabric in a dark color rather than a lighter color. The tropical-weight wool suit in navy keeps the code. A linen suit in sand does not.